John Sammers' Success Tip #1
John Sammers' Success Tip #1
Hi, and welcome to the first weekly success tip. I know that a lot of people are interested in getting a better life, if you are or know someone else who is, these tips will help you gain the skills and tools to improve you chances of achieving you goals.
If you're in a rush scroll down to the summary. If you can make the time to write down the answers to these questions, you'll get more from them.
When I first started learning about coaching and NLP, I was drawn by the fact that when I was younger and I wanted something badly enough, the strength of my desire would usually bring me the result I wanted (I then had to deal with the version I ended up with, from a very dodgy billycart to a very dodgy record deal - but more on specifics later). As I got older I realised, having experienced a few 'wants' that had gone a little sour, that my desire was not nearly as burning - and guess what, I didn't always get what I wanted - or what I did get gave me more hassle than joy.
Perhaps that's happened to you? So the first question is,
What specifically do you want?
Exactly, precisely, in detail. The unconscious mind is programmed to seek for more and more and the universe is listening out for our desires. Remember to be careful what you wish for. I once wished for a Mercedes and soon got one. It turned out to be a millstone - I should have wished for a good one!
Pay attention to the answer and notice if you are saying what you don't want. It must be in the positive - you can't have a negative. Try this, don't think of Tony Blair. You get what you think about! So 'What exactly DO you want?' Next question is.
How will you know when you have it?
Specifically. We have all heard the stories about wealthy people who are never happy - maybe they have never stopped to ask this question. Do you know that when they totted up the remaining assets of 3 of the Wall Street Crash suicides - they all had in excess of $1,000,000 in 1929! They clearly didn't have an 'I'm very rich now' level marker. Ask yourself what will you see, hear, feel and notice when you have achieved your goal? What will you be doing the moment you realise you've achieved it? Get all of your senses involved so that your mind can enjoy the pleasure of it.Something to remember.
We are generally wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain (sometimes our pain gives some sort of secondary pleasure - but as a rule if you're given 3 choices you'll always go for the least painful) so note that if something causes you pain, it will probably affect the way you operate.Ok, you know what you want, you also know how ou'll know when you have it.
What do you have now to get what you want?
Many people concentrate on their weaknesses when working out if they can have something and this stops them cold. What are your strengths? List them. Work smart and delegate your weaknesses if you can - you can't be great at everything. Next question is
What do I need to get what I want?
Don't let this question to stop you either. Use it it pin down the simple things that you feel are the difference. It could be resources, psychology (like confidence) a creative partner or just someone to share the workload. Whatever it is - identifying it early will save a lot of time later. For example, I know that, at the moment, my songwriting will benefit from a writing partner - so I know what to look for.
Lastly, ask, 'How can I get what I want?'.
There is an easy trick here for the mind. When we have a desire like an exotic (I said exotic) holiday or new car we can say things like, 'I can't afford it'. This turns the mind off. If we change this to, 'How can I afford it?' the mind turns on and creative solutions can be found. I have a friend who does this with nearly everything and has an impressive list of successes. On property, he once advised me to go for what I couldn't afford! Works for him. I'll talk more on how to discover creative solutions in a later newsletter.
Summary
1) Ask 'What specifically do I want?' when you are making meaning out of and assessing the importance of your goals.
2) 'How will I know when I've got it?' will help you compile the evidence that will, once satisfied, give your mind a neural net of success. Use all of your senses!
3) 'What do you have now to get what you want? List your strengths and delegate your weaknesses.
4) 'What do I need to get what I want?' will get you into a much better position to make your plan.
5) Change 'I can't' to 'How can I?' and see what happens.
Next week in Part 2 we will draw on our strengths and find out a) if we really want to be a succes and what's stopping us.
Best,
John Sammers
The Rock 'n' Roll Coach
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