If you're in a rush scroll down to the summary. If you can make the time to write down the answers to these questions, you'll get more from them.

Following on from Pt. 1, the first of the next steps is to check in whether you've had it or done it before. This is to harness your strengths. I mentioned last week that when looking for solutions it's better to look at your strengths rather than weaknesses.

Have you ever had it or done it before?

Go back to a time when you really wanted something specifically and got it (preferably after the time when you simply asked your parents). What were you thinking? How did you go about it? What were the steps? Was there a sequence? Close you eyes and connect to that time and do your best to notice if there are any differences to the way you go about things now. Experience shows that as we get older we think more about what could go wrong - whereas when we are younger it doesn't seem to enter into our heads. Successful people often do this; purely connect to the desire without getting bogged down in what could go wrong. They then meet the challenges as they present themselves. Good planning should foresee many future pitfalls. In two weeks I will show you how to solve problems of this sort and how to not let this thinking stop you. Whenever you are thinking about a thing you want, strive to get into your successful state - it will keep you from killing it off before it has had a chance to live. So now we're going to find out;

Do you know someone who has?

If you know somebody well who regularly achieves their goals and desires, talk to them. One of the aspects of NLP is that of modelling excellence. Sports people do it all the time. How many people now kick a rugby ball like Jonny Wilkinson or go through their shot preparation like Tiger Woods. NLP was devised through modelling the language patterns and strategies of the most successful therapists and consequently novices were able to replicate many of the results (to a large degree). So, ask them what they think about before they do the successful thing they do. Listen to their words and watch their physiology, particularly their eyes (more of what's called accessing cues later - but note where they go when they tell you). If you can note this down, you have just gained a representation of their success strategy!

For what purpose do you want it?

Its now time to check whether your motives sit with your values. Wanting to be obscenely wealthy when you have socialist tendencies may not sit well at an unconscious level and you may find that no matter how hard you try, something keeps stopping you from getting what you want. Also, work to express your desires in the positive. "I want to be prosperous because I don't want to be poor" can be a great motivator, although remembering that the UCM doesn't process negatives directly, it may find this confusing. It's considered better to say/think "I want to be prosperous so I can better provide for my family, look after my health, be able to give more to charity", etc.

Now let's try a coaching exercise to expose your 'yes, but'(s).

Get out a piece of paper (or your computer) and write 'I want to be a success at ________ because _________' Copy this 10 times (or more) and fill in the blanks. Now write 'I want to be a success at ________ but ____________' 10 times and fill in the blanks. Be as honest as you can. What excites you about success? What scares you?

Summary

1) Ask 'Have you ever had it or done it before?' and harness that previously attained 'state' to help you get into the right state now.
2) 'Do you know anyone who has?' and model the way they a) represent that strategy and b) the method they used. It may not work for you because of differences in character, time, location etc, but if you try it their way, you can at least cross it off your methods list.
3) 'For what purpose do you want it? It's important to be congruent - to be living you core values.
4) Do the exercise 'I want to be a success at x because y' and I want to be a success at x but y' and find out what's really going on in your mind.

Next week in Part 3 we will learn the process of connecting with our desired future.

Best,
John Sammers
The Rock 'n' Roll Coach

john@rocknrollcoach.com

If you've enjoyed this tip and found it useful, please forward it to friends, family and people you work with. You can use any or all of it provided you credit me and add subscription information. I value any comments, criticisms or feedback you may have. Please send them to tips@rocknrollcoach.com

How to Subscribe

If you wish to receive The Ladder, John Sammers' Success Tips click here

tips archive

last tip

next tip

home

top of page

20 Holly Grove Kingsbury, London NW9 8QU
T: +44 (0) 8707 669 878 M: +44 (0) 7961 996 200 E: info@johnsammers.com
We respect your privacy and will never pass on your details to any 3rd party for any reason whatsoever